The Travelling Gourmet
by UnendingEmpire
Summary: A tale about Koishi travelling Gensokyo high and low, eating and drinking things that she probably shouldn't. Hey, Koishi...what's that you're eating? Well I hope she's okay. Oh, wait...yep, she's fine :D
1. Chapter 1

**I'm generally gonna do short chapters for this fanfic so that if I can't find anything to write, I can just come here and start or finish a new chapter. The first chapter sets the stage for most of this fanfic, and why Koishi is eating stuff she shouldn't. The first thing she has is something she REALLY shouldn't have had. Enjoy this first chapter~**

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Another day in the Palace of Earth Spirits. Another day that Koishi kicked back and looked at the ceiling in the subterranean mansion. She'd gotten back from her latest adventure just the other day, but she was already getting antsy in anticipation to set out again. It was decided! Grabbing her hat on her way out of her room, Koishi had to find her sister before she went anywhere. One time she'd left without telling Satori and nearly gave her a heart attack in thought that somebody had kidnapped the manipulator of the subconscious.

"Satori," Koishi called out. "Satori, where are you?"

"Right here, Koishi."

"Hi. I'm going out again to find tasty foods. I'll bring you back something sweet too!" She always did. Whenever Koishi came back, she would always have tasty snacks for everybody and sit down and eat a snack of her own with everybody, regardless of whether they wanted a treat or not. Last time she had assorted chocolates, and the time before that Koishi had brought home strawberry cake! She couldn't help but wonder what she'd bring home this time.

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**A day or so later; Eientei…**

"I haven't been here before," Koishi said to herself. This place was new; this place deep in the Bamboo Forest of the Lost. There were a bunch of rabbits going through and around this mansion, so Koishi expected some kind of carrot cake or something to be inside. Carrot cakes tasted good. No reason in the world that anybody should mind if Koishi helped herself to a little bit of it…

"You there!" Koishi froze in shock. Did somebody see her? Right through her powers of the subconscious? Turning to look at the guard who shouted, he seemed to look right past her. Well, that was a bullet dodged…metaphorically speaking, of course. So she turned to look at who this guard was after. A tall woman in red baggy pants was all Koishi could make out of the figure darting away from this mansion. At least she was still unseen. So Koishi slid the doors open and stepped inside, finding herself at a loss of words for the beautiful insides of the mansion. What kind of people lived here? Whoever they were, Koishi had to compliment them on their home. For now though, the carrot cake was her priority. Surely there was one somewhere…

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**Later…**

This room was kind of cold compared to the rest of the place, but there were so many interesting things here. At least a thousand bottles on shelves with different labels on them made up the majority of the items in this room. All different kinds of medicines. Some were for depression, and some were for stuff that Koishi didn't even know had cures! Hell, some of these medicines were for things that Koishi had never even heard of! But there was one bottle that wasn't labeled in this room. It sat at the end of the room, far from the door and isolated from everything else. Koishi ignored the "**DO NOT INGEST**" sign in front of the bottle; she had no idea what "ingest" meant so it didn't mean a thing to her. The bottle was filled with a clear liquid, and it was a very ornate-looking bottle compared to the rest.

Koishi opened up the bottle, and took a quick sniff of the contents. No particular scent to it that could give her a hint to the taste. So she put the bottle to her lips, and took a small sip to learn the flavor. No particular taste; whatever this was, it was like very clean water. Only it couldn't have just been a bottle of water! _Maybe it's one of those things you can't taste so well with only a little bit._ Bottoms up. Well, still no particular taste to this stuff, although she was kind of thirsty, so that was alright. With that, Koishi started making her way out of the room…

_THUD!_ Koishi was out like a light, right there in the middle of the floor.

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**Soon afterward…**

Eirin stepped into the storage room. There were a bunch of patients that needed medicine, and unfortunately (to her) all the meds she needed were in the back. So she had to get those things, and-

_THUD!_ Eirin tripped on something! Looking behind her, Eirin found…a girl! How did she get in here without being seen? More importantly, _that_ bottle was in her hands; the extra dose she kept around in case it were needed. And it was empty. And this girl was passed out on the floor. Eirin's face paled with the conclusion she was coming to.

Whoever this girl was, she just drank the Hourai Elixir.

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**The immortal Koishi! She'll be eating all sorts of food that she shouldn't. People who go on Danbooru can look at the "Food of Doom" pool and add the Touhou tag to get an idea of what kind of stuff she'll be eating.**

**I had to have her not know what "ingest" meant so that she'd drink it, otherwise she'd probably just leave it be. But you know what's sad about this chapter?**

**Koishi never found that carrot cake she wanted! T_T**

**On another note, I'm tempted to change the title to "The Travelling Gourmet Loli" so that the initials are TTGL; the same as Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann.**


	2. Chapter 2: Harsh Words

**Remember how in the first chapter, I said that I'd write short chapters so that I can usually do this stuff in one sitting? Well, it worked again! This cute little story about an immortal Koishi continues on! I lined up the start for this one at the end of the first one, but it's cool because you can skip the first chapter and this fanfic still makes sense :D**

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Koishi woke up in a hospital bed. What on earth had happened? She just drank that drink, and all of a sudden…she'd passed out! And this wasn't where she passed out! That could only mean one thing…

"Nice to see you're awake," Eirin said.

She'd been spotted! "Hello. Where am I exactly?"

"The Eientei Clinic." The doctor took a seat next to the bed, and asked "Now then, why were you in my storage?"

"I just sort of stumbled upon this place, and figured there was a carrot cake in here, and I got thirsty so I had a drink."

"And were you completely blind to _this_?" Eirin held up the "**DO NOT INGEST**" sign in front of Koishi's face, and said "It's in plain sight, so you have to be either really dumb or _really_ ignorant to ignore the sign!"

"Well, I didn't know what 'ingest' meant."

"It means, and I'm not going to repeat myself, _**do not drink!**_ Congratulations, you've consumed the last existing dose of Hourai Elixir; my crowning achievement and a medicine that I can't produce anymore, because the ingredients I need can only be found on the moon!"

"W-Whoa, I'm sorry! I didn't know it was so rare or important to you, but I already drank it! Just…you know, live and let live, alright?"

"Oh, you'll live alright. You're now immortal, and upon death you'll simply resurrect near-instantly. Anybody you know who isn't immortal, you can and most certainly will outlive them. As punishment for you foolish act, I refuse to lift your immortality at any point, and you'll be forced to see the ones you love age and die while you remain in your eternally young form, _forever_."

"Please stop!"

"After having some checking out done, I learned who you are, Koishi. I wonder how your sister would feel about this?"

"Don't bring big sister into this; she never did anything wrong!"

"I think by letting you roam free like this, she already has."

"…you…-sniff- you don't mean that!" Those words hurt a lot, and Koishi soon found herself in tears. "Big sister loves me unconditionally no matter what I do! Whenever I get in trouble, she's always there to support me and make me feel better, and she's never _ever_ mean!"

"And now you'll get to repay her by outliving her for all eternity. How very grateful of you," she said with equal sarcasm and ice in her voice.

"That's enough," a third voice demanded. "I won't accept you hurting Koishi with these words, so if you value your genius you'll stop now."

"Big sister!" Koishi ran up to Satori, hugged her tight, and cried on her shoulder. "The doctor lady's really mean! She said stuff like that you and Orin and Okuu would all die and I'd be all alone, and that you were wrong to let me explore and that I was ungrateful!"

"Shhh." Satori hugged her sister back, patting her on the back to calm her. "It's okay. You didn't know what the drink would do, and Eirin is most certainly wrong to not lift your immortality, no matter how strongly she thinks otherwise. You start heading home, alright? I'll catch up after I have a word with Eirin."

"-sniff- okay." So with that, Koishi made her way out.

"Now for you," Satori said. "Just what kind of person do you think you are, making my sister cry like that? She was just hungry and happened upon your establishment, and judging by the employees you keep, she figured there was a carrot cake here. She went into your storage and drank your Hourai Elixir, and while I would be angry as well if my crowning achievement were gone just like that, it's no reason to hurt somebody like that! Your actions are unacceptable, and while you believe your title as Doctor elevates you above me, you're far from right. With your recent words, you're no better than the vengeful spirits we keep sealed up. I expect you to begin working on a medicine to remove her agelessness, and if I don't hear of progress, I'll _make_ you work on it."

"You can't make me do anything," Eirin said harshly. "I can easily create a medicine that would-"

"Shut down my entire nervous system and effectively kill me. My third eye allows me to read your mind like an open book, no matter how dearly you wish otherwise. You can't touch me, and you _won't_ touch Koishi, and you'll start working on her medicine immediately. Are we clear, _Lunarian_?"

"…"

"Or must I call the armies of the Moon down here to reclaim your princess?"

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Try me."

"…I'll begin working right away."

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**Meanwhile, at the nuclear furnace beneath the Palace of Earth Spirits…**

"Hello, Okuu!"

"Hey, Koishi." Utsuho was up to come culinary work for once. The nuclear furnace was surprisingly good for cooking, and while things were shut down here, it was even better to cook in! That said, it was shut down at the moment. "What's new?"

"I went up above, and I found this place with these rabbits, and I drank this drink and I'm immortal!"

"W-_Whaaat?_ I think we should celebrate!"

"You do?"

"Yeah. A nice little tea party between just the two of us. Sound fun?"

"Does it ever! I'll make the tea!"

"And I'll finish up this cake."

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**Danbooru users can check out the "Food of Doom" pool for an idea of what Koishi's gonna be snacking on next. I think you'll know the image when you see it, eh? ;)**

**Other than that, I can't really think of anything to say here. Well, how about some chapter previews? Yeah, that doesn't sound bad! Okay!**

**Minor spoilers are below, so be careful reading down there!**

**Unexpected Expectation:**

**Mima's taking advantage of her new godhood by using the Hakurei Shrine as her home and making pacts with anybody willing to accept her terms! In exchange for any one wish, all Mima wants is faith, but how long will wishes last before they go bad? And on the Reimu/Kanako side of this conflict, the duo of miko and goddess seek out the cause of the wave of "Moriya Madness" (as Azure Xuchilbara put it) and if there's a way to reverse it.**

**A Magician's Chronicle:**

**So far, Marisa's training isn't going bad at all. When Mima starts to divulge a story about a witch she once knew and refuses to continue the story until Marisa's progress continues as well, the human's drive to become a witch increases even further. The greatest of Marisa's attacks is the greatest for a reason; it was one of the first things Mima ever taught her. The first attempt to master the spark, however**


	3. Chapter 3: Nuclear Chocolate Banana Cake

**Another short and fluffy chapter with UnendingEmpire-brand silliness and the little hint of adorable madness that I love to let shine; that's what you can always expect when this fanfic gets updated. This one certainly fills that bill with a cute (but short-lived) little tea party with Koishi and Utsuho that revolves more around the cake than the tea.**

**I wouldn't eat that cake unless I had some Hourai Elixir in me. Now we can start the point of this fanfic; an immortal Koishi eating all sorts of stuff she probably shouldn't. I think the Hungry Trio should take her in and become a quartet. The nom-nom-nom-a-tet.**

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It was time for a small tea party in the Nuclear Furnace! The only two attendants were Koishi and Utsuho, but they were also the only two people who knew about it, so that was alright. Koishi made the tea out of various ingredients for such that she'd picked up in previous travels, making it a rather enviable drink, and Utsuho's cake looked delicious! It was a chocolate cake covered in bright yellow icing! Koishi didn't bother to note that the icing was bubbling or that the plate the cake was on happened to be melting. Instead, she just thanked Utsuho as she was handed a slice. When Koishi's fork was put into the slice, though, that too melted.

"Um…"

"Just pick it up," Utsuho said, detaching the control rod from her arm. "I had the same thought when I first made my famous Nuclear Chocolate Banana Cake and the fork melted."

"Nuclear Chocolate Banana Cake?"

"Yep. There's little banana bits inside the cake; I figured it'd be clever since the icing is yellow." Smiling, Utsuho picked up her slice and took a bite. "It's real firm for cake," the hell raven continued between chews. "It doesn't crumble like regular cake if you pick it up; I had to make it that way so that I could eat it."

"Okay." Koishi picked up her cake, then instantly dropped it because of how hot it was. "Ouch! What's in that cake?"

"Banana bits," Utsuho said after swallowing her first bite. "Did I forget to mention the banana bits? If it's too hot, I can go grab my potholders."

"Please do."

"Sure thing. I'll be right back!" The hell raven set her slice down and started running to grab her potholders. Nobody else ever wanted to try her Nuclear Chocolate Banana Cake, even after all the trouble she would go through to make it, so she was more than excited to see that Koishi wanted to try a slice. It really meant a lot to her. And before long, Utsuho was back with pink-and-white checkered potholders. "Here ya go."

"Thank you, Okuu." Koishi put the potholders over her hand, taking note of how thick they were for potholders. Then again, it probably got really hot down here, so Okuu probably needed potholders that would do their job even in this heated placed. Picking up the cake slice again, Koishi took out a bite, and paused for a moment.

"…so? Do you like it?"

Swallowing her bite, Koishi drank all of her tea rather quickly instantly afterwards, to try and cool down her throat. Not enough! "Get cold water," Koishi rasped. "It's really hot!"

"Right away!" As fast as she could, Utsuho flew up to the Palace of Earth Spirits to try and find a glass of cold water…or a pitcher. The hell raven decided to go with the latter since she wasn't sure how much water Koishi needed.

"Really hot," Koishi rasped to herself. She was turning red at the…well, the everything from heat and she felt tears welling in her eyes, kinda like when one eats a very hot chili pepper. This was probably the hottest thing Koishi had ever eaten before, and most of her figured blowing on the cake wouldn't change that. However, there _were_ indeed banana bits inside the cake, Koishi managed to get a few in her first bite.

"Here," Utsuho said, running back to Koishi. "Drink this!"

"Thanks." Koishi put the tip of the pitcher to her mouth, and started gulp-gulp-gulping. At the least, she was cooling down; the de-reddening of her body said that. Before long, she had managed to empty out the pitcher, after which she said "Thanks. That cake's really hot. Just what did you make it out of?"

"Nothing unusual…chocolate, milk, eggs, wheat, banana bits…yellowcake…"

"Yellowcake?"

"Y-Yeah…it's this stuff that comes from uranium, or something, which might explain why the cake doesn't taste so hot to me. That would be the, um, icing…"

"So _that's_ why it's a nuclear cake."

"Yeah…oh, did you like it?"

"Let me think…" Did Koishi like it? "My taste buds were all scorched…"

"Sorry."

"I think my throat is still burning…"

"Sorry again."

"And I think you gave me radiation poisoning."

"W-Wait, didn't you say you were immortal because you drank something?"

"…oh, yeah. I guess I did! That explains why my taste buds aren't burnt anymore, and why my throat feels fine again." With a bright smile, Koishi said "I think your Nuclear Chocolate Banana Cake is a rare delicacy that only a select few individuals can have the pleasure of enjoying, without paying the cost of their lives! I think it's delicious!"

That made Utsuho's day, week, month, and year. The pure joy that lit up on her face said that much as well as the subtle flapping of her wings. "Thank you, Koishi! You have no idea how much that means to me!"

"I never lie about tasty foods. But it's really filling…I'm already full."

"Oh…"

"Save the rest of my slice for later! For now, I'm going to head back above and see what other tasty stuff I can get my hands on."

"Have fun up there," Utsuho said as she watched Koishi head out of the furnace. Then she looked down to the table. "Well, I'm glad she liked the cake, but…now I'm alone again with my cake…"

"Lonely," Satori asked, stepping into the furnace. "If you make some regular chocolate banana cake, I'll gladly sit down and eat with you."

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**Judging by this map of Gensokyo that's pretty close to canon, Koishi can probably go 2-4 chapters before she reaches the next place I want her to show up in. She might stop by the Scarlet Devil Mansion on the way and eat Flan's "strawberry" cake so you can add 1 to my ECR (Estimated Chapters Remaining) if you want. I didn't even know ECR was a real acronym :|**

**On a totally unrelated note, TatshMusicCircle has become my favorite Touhou circle, even more than Demetori or IOSYS. IOSYS is my second favorite though; they do the cute remixes on one hand (like Captain Murasa's Ass Anchor or Cirno's Perfect Math Class) then they can also do some seriously epic shit (Destination Change and These Two Wings come to mind) on the other hand.**

**Anybody care to guess what sort of deadly treat Koishi's gonna chow down on next? (don't say "I think Flandre's "strawberry" cake is next" or I'm sending imouto-sama to your house tonight and saying you want to play with her)**


	4. Chapter 4: That's Not Strawberry Cake

**It's time for Koishi-chan's scrumptious journey to continue, methinks. This is one of the silliest fanfics I still write, so I want to get back to this one since writing silly things like this make me happy. That said, I was really pleased with myself writing the end of this chapter. For readers of Kaguya Vs. Mokou that got up to the Nitori event, remember when Nitori was discussing dangerous creatures in the woods and Kaguya found that cat?**

**I was thinking it would be kinda like that in the next chapter, only any cats present would probably be splattered all over the walls…maybe I should stop talking about the next chapter before you're done reading this one.**

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Koishi had gotten home at high noon; it was now sunset and the youkai girl was out exploring Gensokyo once more in the search for delicious and unusual foods. And now she was able to add deadly foods to her list as well, which brought a smile to her face. The things that she couldn't eat in the past were now available to her, and throughout her aimless wandering, Koishi had picked up and tried all sorts of unusual things. She was in the Forest of Magic now, and most of her snacks she picked up along the way were mushrooms. Some were poisonous, and others weren't, so Koishi duly noted which ones were safe for everybody else to eat and which ones would leave her family unconscious and foaming at the mouth (the latter of which had happened a few times to Koishi) so that she could bring mushrooms home with her.

And now she found herself in front of this extravagant mansion. This was a European kind of mansion that may have even been able to give the Palace of Earth Spirits a run for its money in terms of elegance. Sure, Koishi's home had a few things this place didn't, like an average (meaning abundant) amount of windows, but her home didn't have gates and a gatekeeper out front, guarding the gates dutifully. Koishi would have to get past her to get inside. Easy. She just started walking by casually; that was all she ever had to do to get past anybody. Whoever this gatekeeper was, she was very wise; Koishi observed that this gatekeeper pretended to be asleep, therefore tricking invaders into thinking it would be easy. _That was pretty smart of her_, Koishi told herself as she opened the front door of the mansion. And the inside was massive!

Forget giving her home a run for its money; just on size alone this place blew Koishi's home out of the water. The youkai girl believed that her own home was more elegant than this one, but they were both really more elegant in their own unique ways. Comparing a Gothic-style mansion and a European one wasn't really fair, which occurred to Koishi as she turned countless corners to try and find the kitchen.

* * *

**Hartmann's youkai girl is now searching…**

* * *

This would be the kitchen. The things in here looked mighty delicious, and whoever lived here appeared to have a real fondness for strawberry-flavored foods and red drinks. Strawberry cake, strawberry ice cream, red wine, red tea, red this, strawberry that…it was like a strawberry wonderland! What to try first…how about the scrumptious-looking strawberry cake on the counter? Koishi reached out to grab a slice, and all of a sudden, _POOF!_ Out of nowhere, this silver-haired maid popped into thin air and started bringing the cake somewhere! Like staff delivering food was really enough to stop Koishi Komeiji, the traveling gourmet.

Koishi followed through the halls, going left and right and right and left and sometimes even up and down. By the time the maid made her destination clear, Koishi knew there was no way she'd be able to retrace her steps back out. Meaning she'd get lost. Meaning she'd be here for a while. No time to worry about that though; this big door here didn't look like it belonged here. As opposed to the rest of the mansion's usual elegant and grand appearance, this was a big and thick iron door with lots of locks and what looked like sealing charms. Whatever was down there must have been mighty vicious…and apparently it liked strawberry cake, too. What a coincidence. Strawberry happened to be Koishi's favorite flavor, too. Now stepping a little more lightly, Koishi continued to follow when the maid started down the steps into the basement.

It was kind of chilly as far as basements went, and was dark and gloomy compared to the rest of the mansion. Whoever lived down here, Koishi was pretty certain that they were really sloppy eaters; strawberry syrup was all over the walls and ceiling in here, and nobody seemed to mind the scattered bones and such throughout, or maybe they just didn't want to touch them. Actually, that might not have been syrup all over the place…

_SLAM!_ Koishi froze and turned white as a ghost in shock. She was now stuck in here. To top it off, the realization was setting in that there wasn't any syrup on the walls. That was blood. Koishi was trapped in here with a lunatic. Taking a few extra-cautious steps back toward the stairs, she slipped on a toy she hadn't seen earlier, and fell right on her rear. Then she saw it. A pair of red eyes locked straight onto her the second she connected with the ground. Well, this was shaping up to suck exponentially. She was trapped in here with a lunatic who could now see her.

Now Koishi was starting to regret not staying home for more of that cake Okuu made.

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**Nuclear Chocolate Banana Cake is certainly something I'd try out if I had the Hourai Elixir in me. I'd try all sorts of things if I had some, actually. You know, while Hourai Elixir and Flandre are both viable topics, I once asked a friend of mine if he'd run or stay if confronted by yandere Flan-dere after a healthy dose of Hourai Elixir, and if I remember correct, he said he'd run, or take a quick death if such a choice existed.**

**It amazes me sometimes, how what one person sees as a bad ending can be seen as a good one to others. If I had Hourai Elixir, I wouldn't mind actually. Given time, I'd probably start to enjoy some Flandere playtime, but let's cross that bridge once we're there.**


	5. Chapter 5: UN Owen Was His Youkai Girl

**I spend quite a bit of time drifting between fluffy and heavy moments in this chapter, and I'm not really sure if I should call this chapter light or dark because of it. All I know is that this chapter will bring in a second main character, and Flandre/Koishi is probably my favorite pairing out of anything ever, even though my favorite Touhou character is actually Mima. It's such a cute pairing, that you can't possibly not love it.**

**The last time I tried this pairing, I hit a dead end fast. This time, I hope to keep on going until I-dunno-when.**

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"Is somebody there," the young mistress asked.

"Nope," Koishi lied. "Nobody's here. Just go back to what you were doing earlier."

"Oh…" Flandre turned back to the cake in front of her. As far as she knew, it was strawberry cake, but everybody else in the Scarlet Devil Mansion knew far better. Teaching Flandre just what she was, and what it meant to be a vampire…with her unstable mind and immense power, it wouldn't be a happy ending. "Nobody there," she said.

"Who are you talking to? There's nobody here."

"And you aren't here either, remember?" Flandre held up a stuffed bear. He was missing a leg, and one of his eyes appeared to have been torn out, but compared to most of the other toys that were quite literally scattered throughout the basement, he was in pretty good shape. "I'm talking to him. Did you that he's a war veteran? He lost his leg and his eye in the big war, and then he found his way down here."

Koishi wasn't really sure what emotion fit the situation. Pity because this girl's best friend seemed to be a torn-up toy, fear that she was actually able to work out a plausible (were he not a stuffed bear) excuse for how he got that way, or…pity. Pity was the best one to pick if the only other choice she could think of was fear.

"He's my friend. He's been living down here with me for a couple of months, and big sister calls him lucky. I don't get why, though. He's kinda missing body parts, so how's he lucky?"

Koishi knew what this mysterious big sister meant by lucky. Lucky that he managed to last a couple of months and still was more than just scattered and broken pieces. Now that Koishi's eyes were adjusting to the dark basement, she could see her surroundings much better. The hard concrete floor was still cold to the touch, and the walls of the same material probably were too, but that didn't bring about the gloom in Koishi's mind. It was brought about by the torn sheets on the bed, by the countless toys that lied in countless pieces all over the place, and now that she understood it all, by the red-clothed girl looking right at her with those bright red eyes. The eyes were the windows to the soul, and Koishi had a good sense for looking through those windows. Koishi could only think of one right thing to do right now. "Hey, do you want to be friends?"

Flandre paused as she reached for the cake. Did…was she really just asked that question. "Wait…repeat that. I don't think I heard that right."

"I asked if you wanted to be friends with me. Being down here must get lonely, and judging by the big door up there, people don't come down here very often. You want a friend, right?"

"I'd…love to have one…a friend. Yeah. Friends are good to have. Yeah, I'd love if you were my friend!"

"Great!" Koishi sat down across the plate from her new friend, and held out a hand with a beaming smile on her face. "My name is Koishi Komeiji! What's yours?"

"I'm Flandre Scarlet." Flandre reached out for Koishi's hand, and got about halfway there, but then…she stopped. "I can't shake your hand. Sorry."

"Huh? Why not?"

"I don't want to break my new friend."

"Break me? How could…" Even more sense being made toward everything. All these shattered and broken toys; the torn sheets on the bed in the corner; the bloodstains on the walls. Flandre did all of this by herself. Koishi knew that already, but now she understood why. Flandre was powerful. Way more powerful than she could comprehend without seeing that power herself. "It's okay. I don't break."

"Everything breaks." Flandre looked at the one-legged bear in her hand. _Everything…_ The vampire's hand started trembling fiercely. "Anything I touch breaks…" Now Flandre got the one thing she probably was best off not getting. Angry. At herself, because Remilia had such soft and delicate hands that could touch all sorts of things without breaking them. But Flandre… "All of it," she screamed, throwing the bear as hard as she could against the nearest wall. The palm of the vampire's hand pointed right at the bear as it hit the wall hard enough for its other eye to pop out. And then her fingers started clenching shut…

_KYUU!_

"It all breaks," Flandre said, falling down to her knees. "Toys break. Furniture breaks. Whenever they talk to me, people break too." And Flandre also broke. Broke down, to say. Like right now; the vampire was having a breakdown. "I don't want to break everything," Flandre sobbed, doing her best to not look at any of the broken objects lying around just about everywhere, or the bloodstains on the walls, or any other evidence of Flandre's pure destructive power.

"…" Once again, only one thing seemed right to Koishi. Console the person who destroyed whatever could possibly be destroyed. Patting Flandre on the back lightly, Koishi said "There, there. I'm sure you can learn to not break stuff. I bet you could even learn to _fix_ things if you wanted!"

"I don't even try to break any of it! But I'm just stuck here, forever!"

"…" Koishi had a plan. But before any of that. "Hey. You wanna eat this cake? I bet it will make you feel a little bit better, Flandre."

"Yeah. Let's eat." Wiping the tears off her face, Flandre turned to the cake. Yummy strawberry cake. Her favorite flavor. The thing is, nobody ever told her that it wasn't strawberry…

* * *

**They're so cute together. And then Koishi Komeiji's Heart-Throbbing Adventure has the two in a whole different light. I want a new part soon, preferably with the old drawing style; drawing it in a more traditional manga style subtracts heavily from the doujin itself, as that drawing style was very unique to the series and actually looked like something I was capable of drawing if I tried real hard.**

**Yeah, I'm a bad artist. Great writer, at least decent composer, but a BAD artist**


	6. Chapter 6: Koishi's Master Plan

**This one is short, even for this fanfic. That's because there really isn't much to say here. Even my author notes are coming out short here :|**

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"That was good," Flandre said, taking down the last bite of the cake. "Did you like it too?"

"It tasted kinda funny for strawberry flavor, but it wasn't bad." It tasted _really_ funny for strawberry. That wasn't something Koishi would choose to eat everyday, and the tea that accompanied it…she couldn't swallow it when she took a sip. It was blood, and realizing that scared Koishi fiercely for a second, but then she reminded herself that Flandre was her new friend, and sometimes people had friends that…well, were a little more than what they bargained for. But that was fine with her. "Anyway, would you like to explore up above with me?"

"I'd love to!" Flandre had never seen the outside before! She wanted to see what was there; what wonderful sights awaited her! "I want to go with you!"

"Great! Come on, let's get going."

"Oh. I'm…kinda not allowed to leave."

"Hmm…" Koishi needed a plan. So her mind started working. To get Flandre out of the basement, the best course of action would be…

* * *

"Help me," Koishi screamed, banging on the inside of the door. That was the plan. Get herself out and use her powers of the subconscious to make it impossible for anybody notice Flandre as the vampire made her escape. Frickin' foolproof. "Hey! Somebody open the door! I'm stuck in here!"

_Creak…_

Koishi watched as an as-close-as-possible-to-concealed Flandre made her way through the door the second it opened. "Thank you," Koishi said gratefully to this person who opened the door. It was that same maid from earlier. The one who brought the cake down here right as Koishi was about to help herself to a slice. Was she the only one that worked here aside from that clever gatekeeper? As far as Koishi could tell, she was. "You won't believe how scary it is down there."

"I have an idea as to it," the silver-haired maid said, stepping out of the way for Koishi to make her exit. "I must say, I'm surprised to see you come out of this door. Aside from residents of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, few enter the younger sister's domain and live to tell about it…in fact, I can only think of one such individual, troublesome though she may be."

"Really?" Only one? "Who was she?"

"A witch. She's the only person to have entered the basement and returned to tell the tale, aside from those who reside here." _Creak…_ Sakuya started shutting the door, completely unaware of Koishi's plan. "However, I don't recall anybody sending out to invite you here. Did you come here uninvited?"

"As a matter of fact, I-"

"ZA WARUDO!"

"Wait,

* * *

**Instantaneously; outside…**

what's that mean?" How did Koishi get out here? She didn't even have time to blink, and now she was from the deepest parts of that labyrinth of a mansion back to the courtyard. And the gatekeeper gave up on her fake sleeping plan. There was blood coming out of her head, though. Koishi rather hoped she was alright. Well, as long as Flandre was still hidden by the powers of the subconscious, Koishi could head back in and find her, taking care to keep track of which turns she made this time.

So, turning around, Koishi started back toward the mansion.

* * *

**And the scavenger hunt for a super-destructive vampire lolita begins. Did I already mention how adorable I think this pairing is? I may even get Nue in on this later on so I've got the entire trio :D**

**I can only vaguely imagine the kind of trouble those three would get in together. Then how they'd have Byakuren, Remilia, AND Satori to answer to. Let's see, what other extra bosses are there? We've got…**

**Mugetsu and Gengetsu in TH4, Mokou in TH8, Suwako in TH10, and Mamizou in TH13 who is Nue's friend IIRC.**

**For somebody who only barely managed to clear one Touhou game, I sure do know a lot, don't I?**


End file.
